3 Communication Strategies Guaranteed to Irritate Others

• Insinuation. Making statements, especially ones that are bad or insulting, in an indirect way.
• Innuendo. Making remarks which indirectly suggest that someone has done something immoral, improper or wrong.
• Implication. Making comments that suggest something, typically something negative, without stating it directly.

Each of those strategies are problematic because they don’t involve direct communication. Most people resort to one or more of the strategies in conflict situations because they feel a need to have their point heard, or they want to avoid upsetting the other person. As a result, they use an indirect approach in an effort to strike the balance between making their point and avoiding the pain of offending others.

It doesn’t work that way, and here’s why.

Indirect communication approaches leave a gap between the words used and the real message. The danger lies in the fact that the gap will be filled by the person hearing the message. In most cases, it will be filled with assumptions about the real message, which will generally be more negative than your intended message. A message intended to convey mild irritation could sound like a strong personal attack to the person.

A better approach is to speak directly with people. Doing so is more powerful, more persuasive and less irritating than insinuating, inferring or implying. However, be respectful and have only the best intentions when you conduct these conversations. As with any technique or tactic for working with others, people can take their directness way too far. While I believe that direct, honest communication is the best way to reduce and resolve conflicts, I am in no way condoning rude or aggressive communication.

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