We’ve all heard of bully bosses, and hopefully, you strive not to be one. But what should you do when you have an employee who bullies coworkers and even you. The person might lose his or her temper, make hateful or hurtful jokes, or use aggressive tactics to force others do as he or she says.
Don’t let it go unchecked or you could damage team morale and productivity. Instead, stand up to the behavior in the moment to show both the bully and the rest of your team that the behavior is unacceptable.
- Don’t retaliate. When an employee screams or mistreats someone, you and some of the team may be tempted to scream back or respond with your own negative behavior. Others will just stand there and take the abuse. Both those reactions only serve to reinforce the bad behavior.
- Stand tall. Don’t lean away or step back from a bully. Stand straight and hold your ground. If you are sitting, keep your back erect. Don’t slouch or slump. Also avoid fidgeting or engaging in nervous behaviors such as wringing your hands or tapping your fingers. Breathe steady to control your emotions so that when you do speak, your voice will sound calm and confident. Maintain eye contact. Your goal is to show the bully that you are not intimidated by the behavior.
- Don’t be forced into siding with the bully. If the bully pushes you to choose a position or respond immediately to a demand, stand your ground. If you are ready to respond, do so with a straightforward, succinct answer. If you aren’t ready to make a decision, say so in a direct and firm manner. Examples: “I will not discuss that right now,” “We’re not ready to make that decision,” “I need more information first,” or “That is not a priority right now.” Stick to your guns.
- Refocus the group. Change the topic or restate a previous thought to refocus the group on the topic at hand. Do not let the bully interrupt or dominate the discussion. If he or she tries to do so, you may need to be more aggressive. Examples: “We are no longer discussing that,” “Come to my office at 1:00, and we will continue that discussion then,” “We have already discussed that and made a decision, and now we have moved on,” or “We’ve heard what you have to say, and now I want to hear from others.” If the employee continues to act improperly, excuse him or her from the room. From there, stay on topic.
While appropriately handling the bully in the heat of the moment will discourage the behavior and set an example for your employees on how to deal with the person, it likely won’t be enough. Meet privately with the person to share specific examples of his or her unacceptable behavior, to note why the behavior is detrimental to the them, and to set your expectations for the person’s behavior going forward. If you don’t see improvements, work with HR on next steps, which could include termination.
No one, including you, should have to deal with a workplace bully.
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