When you have explained something a number of times to the same person or group of people, it is really easy to allow your frustration with the communication process to build. It's a small step from frustration to anger and another small step from anger to an escalating conflict. Other people's failure to understand you generally indicates these possible scenarios: You … [Read more...]
Avoid Unnecessary Conflict With 1 Simple Change
"What religion are you?" The question hung in the air between the two teenagers engaged in a conversation about family rules and expectations. While I do not know this to be true, it appeared to me that they come from families with different expectations and limits. To me, the religion question was asked out of genuine curiosity. I thought that it was just a question … [Read more...]
It is Necessary to Like Your Coworkers?
"I have to work with them, but do I have to like them?" That question pops into most people's heads from time to time. After all, you aren't going to like everyone, all the time. Nor do you have to. People don’t have to like each other to work together successfully and productively. While liking is preferable, it shouldn’t be a goal. Rather the goal for both you and your … [Read more...]
The Type of Assumption You Should Make
My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward. I knew that I was furrowing my brow and that my voice was growing flatter and more menacing with each verbal exchange. While I did not physically fear for my safety, I did feel … [Read more...]
25 Strategies for Conflict Resolution
This is a guest post by Dan Rockwell, leadership and management expert and author of the popular Leadership Freak blog. Sometimes it is the simplest actions that can help you resolve a conflict quickly, or avoid one all together. When you sense things are heating up, use one or more of these strategies: 1. Don’t focus on winning or losing; focus on achieving … [Read more...]
Don’t Shut Down Emotions During Conflicts—If You Want a Quick Resolution
One challenge I see when people, and especially new leaders, attempt to address a conflict is the desire to ignore or minimize the emotional side of it. They attempt to persuade the other party with logic, data and reason, and take the emotion completely out of it. I have been guilty of this error myself, but a few years ago, I had a moment of enlightenment. My wife and I … [Read more...]
Politicians Are the Worst Role Models When it Comes to Conflict Resolution
As I watch the politicians in what seems like an ongoing heated battle over this or that these days, I wonder if very many politicians really understand how to build consensus and to reach joint decisions that protect the interests (as much as possible) of everyone involved. I see leaders from all sides of the political process investing great energy in staking out positions … [Read more...]
Avoid Poison Questions That Escalate Conflict
When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally ask good questions. Rather than ask questions for the … [Read more...]
5 Steps For Helping Your Team Navigate Rocky Roads
By Barry Kaplan and Jeff Manchester, authors of THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY: How to Create a Team of Leaders by Shifting Inward In our work with hundreds of organizations, it has become clear that in order for teams to unleash their full potential, team members must experience true and authentic connections with one another. Only then will they feel safe to bring their best … [Read more...]
How Often Do You Get in Your Own Way?
A colleague of mine recently had a run-in with someone who was unhappy that her content had been cited in his publication without her direct consent. My colleague had followed all the rules, fully attributed the content to her, and even linked to her website. Yet, she was angry because "that content is how she makes a living." OK, fair enough. He will oblige. Problem is, … [Read more...]