When you enter a conflict conversation with another person, keep this thought in mind: Don't give what's yours, and don't take what's theirs. Here's what I mean by that statement: You are responsible for your words, actions, perceptions and feelings. Don't give that responsibility to them. They are responsible for their words, actions, perceptions and feelings. Don't take … [Read more...]
Resolve Conflicts Much Faster With This Surprising Advice
“How do you resolve a conflict quickly?” You may think this answer is counter-intuitive, but it's true: To solve conflict quickly, you must slow down. Just about everything I do professionally centers around resolving conflict, improving communication, enhancing leadership and inspiring teamwork. I work with teams of all kinds: work teams, non-profit teams and even … [Read more...]
6 Steps to Confront Negative Behavior at Work
If you choose to look the other way when employees exhibit bad behavior, remember this: Failure to confront a negative behavior is a subtle acceptance of it and an encouragement for it to continue. I absolutely prefer encouraging good behaviors over punishing bad ones. Encouragement is more comfortable to me, and that might be the problem. Behavioral analysts find that … [Read more...]
Learn to Disagree Without Being Disagreeable
When you interact and work with other people, you will eventually disagree with someone. Sometimes, the disagreement will be over minor issues that you can easily ignore. Sometimes, however, you will disagree quite strongly about an issue that is vitally important to both sides. It might be about what course of action to take to turn around the company, which candidate to … [Read more...]
That Escalated Quickly: 3 Words Guaranteed to Increase Conflict
I tend to notice how people respond to certain words. I guess that's something of an “occupational hazard” for me. As I watch how people respond, I look for patterns. While tone and body language can often turn minor disagreements into full-on arguments, it's more often the words people use that cause conflicts to grow. So which words are guaranteed to start or escalate a … [Read more...]
When Employees Just Don’t “Get It”
When you have explained something a number of times to the same person or group of people, it is really easy to allow your frustration with the communication process to build. It's a small step from frustration to anger and another small step from anger to an escalating conflict. Other people's failure to understand you generally indicates these possible scenarios: You … [Read more...]
Avoid Unnecessary Conflict With 1 Simple Change
"What religion are you?" The question hung in the air between the two teenagers engaged in a conversation about family rules and expectations. While I do not know this to be true, it appeared to me that they come from families with different expectations and limits. To me, the religion question was asked out of genuine curiosity. I thought that it was just a question … [Read more...]
It is Necessary to Like Your Coworkers?
"I have to work with them, but do I have to like them?" That question pops into most people's heads from time to time. After all, you aren't going to like everyone, all the time. Nor do you have to. People don’t have to like each other to work together successfully and productively. While liking is preferable, it shouldn’t be a goal. Rather the goal for both you and your … [Read more...]
The Type of Assumption You Should Make
My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward. I knew that I was furrowing my brow and that my voice was growing flatter and more menacing with each verbal exchange. While I did not physically fear for my safety, I did feel … [Read more...]
25 Strategies for Conflict Resolution
This is a guest post by Dan Rockwell, leadership and management expert and author of the popular Leadership Freak blog. Sometimes it is the simplest actions that can help you resolve a conflict quickly, or avoid one all together. When you sense things are heating up, use one or more of these strategies: 1. Don’t focus on winning or losing; focus on achieving … [Read more...]