My anger was rising. Every time he spoke, I grew more frustrated and irritated. I could feel my blood pressure rising, my face flushing, my lips tightening, and my shoulders hunching forward. I knew that I was furrowing my brow and that my voice was growing flatter and more menacing with each verbal exchange. While I did not physically fear for my safety, I did feel … [Read more...]
25 Strategies for Conflict Resolution
This is a guest post by Dan Rockwell, leadership and management expert and author of the popular Leadership Freak blog. Sometimes it is the simplest actions that can help you resolve a conflict quickly, or avoid one all together. When you sense things are heating up, use one or more of these strategies: 1. Don’t focus on winning or losing; focus on achieving … [Read more...]
Don’t Shut Down Emotions During Conflicts—If You Want a Quick Resolution
One challenge I see when people, and especially new leaders, attempt to address a conflict is the desire to ignore or minimize the emotional side of it. They attempt to persuade the other party with logic, data and reason, and take the emotion completely out of it. I have been guilty of this error myself, but a few years ago, I had a moment of enlightenment. My wife and I … [Read more...]
Your Question of the Week: Could It Be Me?
I have two colleagues. Both of them contribute something valuable to our personal and professional relationships. Both of them are good at what they do. Both of them have strong opinions. Both of them feel free to express their opinions. Both of them have direct and bottom-line communication styles. Both of them are task oriented. Both of them have a sarcastic approach to … [Read more...]
Politicians Are the Worst Role Models When it Comes to Conflict Resolution
As I watch the politicians in what seems like an ongoing heated battle over this or that these days, I wonder if very many politicians really understand how to build consensus and to reach joint decisions that protect the interests (as much as possible) of everyone involved. I see leaders from all sides of the political process investing great energy in staking out positions … [Read more...]
Avoid Poison Questions That Escalate Conflict
When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally ask good questions. Rather than ask questions for the … [Read more...]
5 Steps For Helping Your Team Navigate Rocky Roads
By Barry Kaplan and Jeff Manchester, authors of THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY: How to Create a Team of Leaders by Shifting Inward In our work with hundreds of organizations, it has become clear that in order for teams to unleash their full potential, team members must experience true and authentic connections with one another. Only then will they feel safe to bring their best … [Read more...]
Break a Stalemate and Start Executing
Gaining team consensus is a huge win. After all, it means everyone is on the same page, and that you can more easily move forward and begin making progress. What happens, however, when you can't reach consensus? In team settings, it's certainly not abnormal (nor it is it a bad thing) for members to disagree. What can often happen, though, is that some members refuse to … [Read more...]
Turn That Frown Upside Down: Tips for Improving Your Bad Attitude
Do you have a bad attitude? I'm not suggesting always, but sometimes? Most people do. It's hard not to when things are going bad. Besides, you're only human, and you deserve the occasional off day. That said, as a leader, when your attitude stinks, it quickly rubs off on your employees. If everybody's in a funk, productivity is going to sink. So, while you may want to sulk, … [Read more...]
That Escalated Fast! 5 Ways to Turn a Disagreement into a Full-On Fight
Just in case you would like to have some fun with another person during your next disagreement, here are some tips for quickly escalating a minor miscommunication into a full-blown argument. Tell people what they should feel When you want to get a strong emotional response from someone, just tell them how to feel. For example, you could say “Don’t be angry" or "You … [Read more...]