I often say that facts dictate the need for change, and emotions create the barrier to it. Changing from one way of doing things (behavior) to a different one always involves loss, and loss triggers powerful negative emotions. You must understand and address those negative emotions to successfully influence change. I've often talked about about the power that having a weight … [Read more...]
Take the Sting Out of Bad News
I'm a huge fan of home improvement shows. One of my guilty pleasures is waking up early on a Saturday (when I don't have soccer mom duties), and catching up on the shows I missed that week while sipping a cup of hot coffee. My favorite show of the moment is HGTV's Home Town. If you like this type of show and haven't already, check it out. The married hosts, Ben and Erin … [Read more...]
Stop Sending These Emails
Spring is here, and as the weather heats up and skimpier clothing options abound, I’m reminded of one of my least favorite kinds of email: the “This is just a reminder” email. Many organizations like to send messages like this: This is just a reminder that we have a dress code. Please review it in your handbook. Men, you should be wearing a shirt and tie or a polo in a school … [Read more...]
The Differences Between Feedback and Advice
Feedback and advice. Some people use the terms interchangeably. If you look at the most basic definitions, though you see that they really aren't all that similar: Feedback: "A reaction or response to a particular process or activity." Advice: "An opinion or recommendation offered as a guide to action, conduct, etc." The words hold very different connotations for … [Read more...]
Avoid Poison Questions That Escalate Conflict
When you are trying to resolve a conflict with a team member, a genuine sense of curiosity about the other person’s perspective often goes a long way toward resolution. You reveal your sense of curiosity by the questions you ask the other person during the conflict conversation. That said, most of us do not naturally ask good questions. Rather than ask questions for the … [Read more...]
5 Steps For Helping Your Team Navigate Rocky Roads
By Barry Kaplan and Jeff Manchester, authors of THE POWER OF VULNERABILITY: How to Create a Team of Leaders by Shifting Inward In our work with hundreds of organizations, it has become clear that in order for teams to unleash their full potential, team members must experience true and authentic connections with one another. Only then will they feel safe to bring their best … [Read more...]
Break a Stalemate and Start Executing
Gaining team consensus is a huge win. After all, it means everyone is on the same page, and that you can more easily move forward and begin making progress. What happens, however, when you can't reach consensus? In team settings, it's certainly not abnormal (nor it is it a bad thing) for members to disagree. What can often happen, though, is that some members refuse to … [Read more...]
Ensure That You Have Communicated Effectively
The communication process really should be easy. You say something to other people. They hear it. They act in a way that is consistent with what you said. End of discussion. However, it’s not quite that easy. In reality, the process for spoken communication goes something like this: You get a picture in your mind of what you want to communicate. You convert that … [Read more...]
How to Respond Assertively, Not Aggressively
No matter how great a manager you are, bad things will happen at work. Not every day, but occasionally. It’s how you handle those incidents—the ones that fill you with frustration, anger and dread—that determine what kind of leader you are. If you respond to those occasions aggressively (outwardly or passively), you’ll undermine your team, spread fear and start the rumor … [Read more...]
Do This When You Need to Correct an Employee
I want you to pause for a minute and imagine this scenario: You ask an employee, coworker, friend or family member for an honest opinion. The person offers it, but it's not exactly what you wanted to hear. Perhaps your spouse commented that she didn't like the new dish you prepared. Or your coworker disagreed with your plan of attack on a project. Or your BFF admitted that … [Read more...]